Meghan Markle reveals miscarriage: 'Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief'
Meghan Markle reports that she miscarried in July - and how she realized how much healing was needed in a challenging year.
In a candid statement published Wednesday morning in the New York Times, the Duchess of Sussex revealed that she was hospitalized after experiencing a "sharp cramp" and collapsing while holding her young son Archie.
The Duchess of Sussex reveals in a candid comment published in the New York Times that she miscarried in July. (Michele Spatari / AFP via Getty Images)
"I knew when I clutched my firstborn child that I was losing my second," she wrote. "Hours later, I was lying in a hospital bed holding my husband's hand. I felt the moisture in his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both of our tears. I stared at the cold white walls and my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we would heal
“... Losing a child means having to bear an almost unbearable grief, which is experienced by many, but of which few speak. In the pain of our loss, my husband and I found that in a room with 100 women, 10 to 20 of them had miscarried, ”she wrote. "Despite the amazing commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, full of (unjustified) shame and continues a cycle of lonely grief."
While recovering, Meghan recalled a question she was asked in a 2019 interview when she and Prince Harry were on a tour of South Africa after becoming a new mom and she was trying to "put on a brave face." to keep in public ”.
"Are you okay?" Asked a journalist. I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I was saying would resonate with so many - new and older mothers, and everyone who had suffered quietly in their own way. My off-the-peg answer seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it didn't respond honestly, which helped me the most, it was the question itself, ”she wrote. "'Thanks for asking,' I said." Not many people have asked if I am okay. "
"As I sat in a hospital bed and watched my husband's heart break as he tried to hold my broken pieces, I realized that the only way to heal is to ask first," You can you well "She wrote.
“This year has brought so many of us to our breaking points. Loss and pain plagued each of us in 2020, both difficult and debilitating, "she continued, referring to the coronavirus pandemic, the unjust murders of black men and women in America, and the polarizing political climate in America USA, which “made us feel more alone than ever. "
But there are ways to break the cycle of loneliness, she said, and it starts with a conversation about bravery in sharing, however difficult the subject, to ease the "burden of grief."
"By being invited to share our pain, we are taking the first steps towards healing together," she said.
On that Thanksgiving Day, Meghan asked people to commit to asking others if they were okay.
"As much as we disagree, however distant we may be, the truth is that we are more connected than ever because of everything we have experienced individually and collectively this year," she wrote. "For the first time in a long time, we really see ourselves as human beings."
The Duchess of Sussex and her husband moved to Santa Barbara, California this year after stepping down from royal duties in January. Talking about the intense test she felt in the spotlight and the implications for her mental health, Meghan dubbed herself "the most trolled person in the world" in 2019.
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